Merry Christmas 4 days

Good Friday Morning!!!  4 days left for hustle and bustle to get that just right gift for everyone on your list.  This year has been a tough one for me personnally and also one of many blessings.  I have lost the joy of the Holiday Season again.  I seem to have unrealistic ideas of what the Holiday's are all about any more.  Every year I pray I can be with my children ALL of them and that we will all get along and love one another.  Am I asking for so much?  Are they unrealistic to wish for?  Last year was the first ever Christmas that I have spent with any of my children as adults.  I left Arkansas and traveled to Arizona in November around the 19th I think and stayed until January 19th.  Sounds like I overstayed my welcome.  lol I don't think I did my son-in-law was deployed to Afganistan and I sure didn't want my daughter going through the Holiday's by herself.  I arrived and a couple of days later my son Chet got a job in North Dakota and left so I am so thankful I was there.  I got to spend some wonderful time with my Granddaughter Kayla and a little bit of time with Abbie.  I am overjoyed with being a Grandma I guess it's one of those things that until you experience it you can't understand it.  Christmas was an awesome time for me.  Brandie and I made a Prime Rib dinner for ourselves, Donelle (my daughter-in-law, Abbie and my Aunt Janet who is widowed.  So it was a girls day!!!  Jacob and Alyssa brought Brandie her presents a day or 2 before Christmas and of course another time I didn't get to see Lilly.  It breaks my heart my son won't allow me to have anything to do with her.  Anyhow

This year I am praying for forgivness from my children for not being there.  I try to make ammends but to no avail with my sons.  I don't know what it's going to take for them to forgive me and move on so that we can once again be a family.  I don't have any strength left to fight this fight I beleive that if they dig deep into their memories they would find that I wasn't a horrible parent and that a lot of what happened was due to curcumstances out of my control.  I have apologized until the cows came home and still...............

My hurt can't be measured by forgiveness because I love my children and would drop it all just to have a word from them or to hear I love you mom just once.

Ok enough darkness.......... I am proud to announce that my daughter will be giving me the precious gift of another Granddaughter in May and that my son's wife is also going to give me another precious Grandchild in July.  God blesses as satan trys to destroy.  One Grandchild cannot replace another but it's a blessing anyway you look at it that Brandie is having a baby.  She is a wonderful daughter and I can't wait to share in the blessed event.  I'm leaving to go to Arizona in April and will be staying until July or August to be able to be present for the births which I have never been able to do before,

My sewing machine has been doing double duty getting the Christmas presents finished and working on the new baby items that I am making.  Another day to finish some items would be nice maybe today I can get some sewing done.  I just finished baking a huge batch of snickerdoodles so I am free to do whatever now.

Who woulda thunk that a snickerdoodle could make someone happy?  I just love them not sure why I don't make them more often.  Anyway I want to share a recipe that I found on the internet with you for Pistachio Fudge.  what could be any better?  Pistachios and fudge together thank you to whomever thought of this wonderful concoction lol anyway here it is may God Bless your families this year with a new love for one another and a patience for those you tolerate Merry Christmas and may God give you the desires of your heart.

PISTACHIO FUDGE

1 LB. white baking Chocolate or 12 oz. White Chocolate chips
1 8oz. cream cheese softened
3 cups powdered sugar
1/2 teas. vanilla
1/4 teas almond extract
1/8 teas. green food coloring
1/2 cup chopped pistachios
additional pistachios for garnish

Line a 8x8 baking pan with foil allowing the foil to hang over the edges, spray with pam.
Melt white chocolate as directed on the package
Beat cream cheese until smooth beat in powdered sugar and melted chocolate add flavorings and food coloring until all mixed.  Add in chopped Pistachios and spread into pan Top with additional pistachios for garnish
Cool fudge in fridge for at least 1 hour. 
Pull foil out of pan with fudge on top.  Cut into 1 1/2 inch squares.  Makes 25

Believe in God's Holiness, Believe in God's Faithfullness.  Believe in God's Truth and that He holds us in the palm of His Mighty Hand and that even when we don't see Him, He see's us.  Still Believe.....